The Director's Wife

It's been a pretty good week around here.  Grief is funny.  At times you feel almost "guilty" about being happy or doing "ok".  I'm learning from reading the Bible that you can mourn AND be happy at the same time.  It's quit an odd feeling. One thing that has really triggered me this week is The Church Directory.  Our church is in the middle of updating our directory and so they asked all of us to look at our picture and information and make any updates that are needed......gulp.....here is our picture from last year.... Do you see what I see????  Yep, no Josiah.  My heart sank when I realized we could not add him or have a family picture with him in our church directory.   This made me feel like he never existed.  It doesn't make sense to list someone who is no longer here.  I get that.  It just hurts...I wish he was in at least one directory.  It's like we just skipped that part of our families history.  ...

For those who know me you know that my birthday is a big deal to me.....  It's one of the best days of the year! "Amy, when is your birthday?" Why, I'm so glad you asked....... CINCO DE MAYO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In fact my Bridal Shower was also my 40th Birthday Celebration  and as you can see below a CINCO DE MAYO theme!  Perfect just perfect! This year I was silent. I did not announce that it was CINCO DE MAYO.   I did not change my cover photo on Facebook to a CINCO DE MAYO theme.   I did not want any attention drawn to my birthday. Why? Because I did not want to turn 45.   I did not want to leave year 44 behind.   When I turned 44 on May 5, 2018 I was a brand new momma to my baby boy Josiah.   He was 2 weeks old when we celebrated last year.   S o this past Sunday was fast approaching and although I did not know it at the time I began to have a...